To my family,

What I can tell them, when they aren’t looking at me!

A letter

To my family,

I know how eerie this feels that I’m writing a letter to you. I would justify myself by only citing – there is a thin line between what I think about you, what I actually tell you and what I wish to tell you, but I haven’t the guts to give it voice. 

Mom, I couldn’t smile because I just couldn’t. You were unfathomably proud about your son scoring 95% in SSC boards but you were even more perturbed and furious at him for not expressing feelings synonymous to yours. Maa, it was extremely commonplace for my mind to know that I’ve scored well enough alike every other boards aspirant who reaped what he sowed during the year. I CANNOT feel jovial about such not-so-extraordinary things, you know!

I couldn’t take science as my stream because I just couldn’t Mom. Even if I would have opted for it, I would have not been the son you know now. You didn’t want that to happen neither did I. So, Thank you! And let’s move on, please!

Dad, you’ve always been the reason for my courage, tenacity and personality. I recall having once dignified you as my role model for life unabashedly, publicly. Then, there was a robust reason. Now, things have changed. Dad, I don’t like to see mom killing her solitary time dejectedly when you are out with your friends enjoying life past midnight. I want you to spend more time with her, let alone with me and others. I do miss your presence. I miss your vigour, that smiling smile, the Dad I once knew. Let me not miss you, please.

Behen (sister), I hate you for not sharing anything about you or your life with me, despite the fact that I’ve persuaded you to do so on numerous occasions. I like to fight with you, like every sibling, but not when that digresses to rebukes and you going really mad at me. I madly need you, I know that, but so stubborn and reticent am I that, I won’t ever show. So, Anki, next time when I say I hate you, it’s just love gone bad and when I purposely initiate a fight, it’s my way of offering love. Bear with me, please!

Aayush bhai, you’re that reflection of mine, which I dread looking at! You know what, when you say things like – “padhke kiska bhala hua hai”,“I am born to be great”,“we’ll rule the world one day”, I cannot resist getting influenced. You muse me. I used to feel envious when my best buddies Kevin and Aakash share hilarious and loving incidents about their brothers. But, not now. I’m glad god sent me a present and it was you! Stay with me, please!

Daadi, the house is empty without you. I must say, must say. You are like a Don’s consigliere. The only person a don is relies on personally as also formally. Here, we all are dons but if there’s just something singular, it’s you, our consigliere, tutelar and godfather! I can’t write much about you, only bcoz the things I wish to tell you are trifle given that you figure out whats going on in my head and hence I HAVE to speak! Understand me less, please!

Yours lovingly,

Son, grandson, brother!

That’s me -!-!-!-


112 thoughts on “To my family,

  1. That was an awesome read ☺ i loved it. It would probably be quite therapeutic if i wrote a letter to my family (that they never got to actually read) thankyou for sharing. It was a nice little look into your home life as well. Very interesting

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was so touching! I usually find myself unable to express myself even with my family. Its hard cause the words don’t pour out as quickly as they ought to and then the time goes away, unspoken words and unfilled gestures leaving in its wake. This gave me a great insight, thankyou, it was lovely!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Akshay, a very thoughtful letter. I could actually feel your pain about marks and stream, you have written so well. Look for good things in life and you will realise there is abundance, concentrate on that and life will feel way better. This I have learnt the hard way in life, but this has also changed me tremendously.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think this is a great post. Not many people try come out with their feelings and unmended bridges and things left to say to their family. And people also fail to take a moment to realize how immense the contribution of the family has been in making them who they are.
    This post will definitely instigate a process, even if slow.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I have always wished that I could pour out my feelings towards my family through beautiful words like these. But I have never been able to do so. Yeah it takes courage. Proud that someone could do it. Really touching and beautifully presented. Loved it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Pretty heartfelt post that one…I hope it helped you think things out whilst writing it. Definitely can’t do something because someone else wants you to either…some choices have to be yours.

    I truly hope they all see this and sit back thinking thank you for sharing….

    Liked by 4 people

      1. I think you’ll find if I see a post in my reader I find hits and time allows I comment…time is the great enemy though…but I’ll be back…but not as a terminator 🤔

        Liked by 2 people

  7. A lovely post.. the love of your family will never go out of your hearts. I just need to do that too I guess cuz it’s really a great idea to spit out all the “bhadaas” (frustration, I guess?). I liked it to read the whole thing. specially the one for mom. I also don’t want to make my future in science stream but in my case, my father is forcing me to do it. It’s hard for me to resist my passion. Thank you so much for this post.

    Liked by 7 people

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