To my family,
I know how eerie this feels that I’m writing a letter to you. I would justify myself by only citing – there is a thin line between what I think about you, what I actually tell you and what I wish to tell you, but I haven’t the guts to give it voice.
Mom, I couldn’t smile because I just couldn’t. You were unfathomably proud about your son scoring 95% in SSC boards but you were even more perturbed and furious at him for not expressing feelings synonymous to yours. Maa, it was extremely commonplace for my mind to know that I’ve scored well enough alike every other boards aspirant who reaped what he sowed during the year. I CANNOT feel jovial about such not-so-extraordinary things, you know!
I couldn’t take science as my stream because I just couldn’t Mom. Even if I would have opted for it, I would have not been the son you know now. You didn’t want that to happen neither did I. So, Thank you! And let’s move on, please!
Dad, you’ve always been the reason for my courage, tenacity and personality. I recall having once dignified you as my role model for life unabashedly, publicly. Then, there was a robust reason. Now, things have changed. Dad, I don’t like to see mom killing her solitary time dejectedly when you are out with your friends enjoying life past midnight. I want you to spend more time with her, let alone with me and others. I do miss your presence. I miss your vigour, that smiling smile, the Dad I once knew. Let me not miss you, please.
Behen (sister), I hate you for not sharing anything about you or your life with me, despite the fact that I’ve persuaded you to do so on numerous occasions. I like to fight with you, like every sibling, but not when that digresses to rebukes and you going really mad at me. I madly need you, I know that, but so stubborn and reticent am I that, I won’t ever show. So, Anki, next time when I say I hate you, it’s just love gone bad and when I purposely initiate a fight, it’s my way of offering love. Bear with me, please!
Aayush bhai, you’re that reflection of mine, which I dread looking at! You know what, when you say things like – “padhke kiska bhala hua hai”,“I am born to be great”,“we’ll rule the world one day”, I cannot resist getting influenced. You muse me. I used to feel envious when my best buddies Kevin and Aakash share hilarious and loving incidents about their brothers. But, not now. I’m glad god sent me a present and it was you! Stay with me, please!
Daadi, the house is empty without you. I must say, must say. You are like a Don’s consigliere. The only person a don is relies on personally as also formally. Here, we all are dons but if there’s just something singular, it’s you, our consigliere, tutelar and godfather! I can’t write much about you, only bcoz the things I wish to tell you are trifle given that you figure out whats going on in my head and hence I HAVE to speak! Understand me less, please!
Son, grandson, brother!
That’s me -!-!-!-